Don't get too comfortable

After all the chaos and excitement of the signing papers and getting house keys, we had to return back to Gulfport to finish out the year and handle business. Many tears were shed including ones from me about leaving, but we agreed it was best for our red head to graduate from her school and to finish her baton classes. We have about 2 months before the move!!!


Our little girl gets to spend today with her daddy while I work which is good for both of them as he prepares to leave again. Even though this trip is shorter than most, its still time apart. No time away from the family is easy, but I have to admit when she was a toddler and had no idea of separation, it was much easier. The last few times of saying good bye had been heart wrenching to watch. She kicks, cries, screams, and almost has panic attacks. Each time it takes me 20 minutes to get her to come back down. At this age, she knows he is leaving and doesn't want him to go like any child, but our daddys girl takes it really rough. The first few nights will be filled with night terrors and coming to bed with mommy to help with the loneliness while she kicks the crap out of me. Note to self, bring more pillows to bed.

I have switched over to mom mode. My lists of things to do has grown substantially, but this is how I pass the time. With a kiddo, a puppy, and a cat, I don't have time to lay in bed and eat oreos while binge watching romantic movies, those days have come and gone. Ok maybe after the kid goes to sleep I catch up on some Golden Girls while eating some Blue Bell Ice Cream, but who can blame me right?? But now its time to go to my dresser draw, find my big girl panties and strap those bitches on. After all, this is not my first rodeo.


With the impeding separation chaos to handle, I still have a lot to do to get us ready for our move and that list is 2 pages long. Birth certificates, tax documents, vaccines, medical records, and the list goes on and on. If I sit and think about it too long, I get a headache. My list taking is how I handle the chaos. If I can get one thing scratched off my list everyday then I feel accomplished. I have a tendency to put too much pressure on my self to be super mom, super wife, and super employee. Can we say burnt out? I would have a list of 20 things and be stressed out cause I couldn't get them all done. Balance has been the word of the day for me for awhile now. I have trouble finding that balance or at least some semblance of one. Forget yesterday and don't think about tomorrow because today is a good day for a good day. (Yes I watch Fixer Upper too, I mean who doesn't)